Unrequited love

I’ve heard the stories countless amounts of times, and I’m sure you have, too. As a matter of fact, maybe you’re in one of them right now. Two naive and innocent “Friends” think, believe, and hope that their gender difference will not play a part in their interaction. Yet, as a result of unguarded feelings and a couple of intimate nights, one of them (not both) suddenly begins to see the other in a new light. “Oh my…I never realized she is sooo veeerrryyyy beautiful....…..Man” the guy thinks. And with that thought comes crumbling down years and years of friendship. With that singular thought, disaster strikes. Because Guy isn’t happy with just being friends anymore. And this is quite a sad thing, beause, unfortunately, Gal does not reciprocate those feelings. As a matter of fact. She straight up thinks Guy is fugly(very ugly).

Unrequited love…FAIL!!

As a disclaimer, I want to say that the kind of relationship I am talking about here is the difficult cross gender “close” relationship. I’m not talking facebook friends, meet up once in a while and poke each other through facebook relationship. I’m talking about hanging out and being friendly or intimate on almost a day to day basis. With that out of the way, I’m going to answer this question as simply as possible. I personally believe that, for the most part, the answer is NO. I believe there is a slight possibility that “yes” is an option, however, most of the times when you combine two members of the opposite gender that are not currently dating, and put them in an environment where they are continuously interacting, one of them (if not both) will soon develop feelings for the other. It’s just pretty damn hard not to.

Most of the times, the guy is the one that caves in and develops feelings for the girl. The reason for this is because, if we go back to the ladder theory, girls will put their guy friends almost permanently on the “friends” ladder, and guys, having only one ladder, usually won’t hang out with a girl on a consistent basis unless they are attracted to her either consciously or subconsciously. In other words, most of the times, the guy wouldn’t be hanging out with the girl if he didn’t somewhat like her to begin with.

That’s why it’s so often that cross gender relationships end up becoming some sort of real life Drama. I can imagine it already. Movie starts. Director: ME!! The crowd’s applause is almost deafening…everyone knows who I AM! I am legendary! (just imagine :-P ) Opening Scene. In the movie, there’s a guy and girl who are friends. They do everything together! There’ll be scenes of them laughing, dancing, going to fairs, eating…all that good stuff! But the best scene is of them running together in the rain, both  shielded by just one newspaper, that barely succeeds in sheltering them from the onslaught of rain. They are giggling, in ecstasy, happy and in their own little world. Two regular “carrots and peas”. The girl is convinced that this relationship is completely affectionate. But the guy starts looking at her in a new way. He starts falling in love. Pretty soon, the guy can’t stop thinking about her…BUT THERE IS A PROBLEM! There is another guy, whom the girl is madly in love with. The guy knows this, but the song “You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift inspires him to act on his feelings. Unfortunately for Taylor Swift, BEYONCE HAS ONE OF THE BEST VIDEOS OF ALL TIME! OF ALL TIME!!!!

Anyways, guy tells the girl that he loves her. Unfortunately, girl does not feel the same. She gets mad. He tries to kiss her, she shoves him away, and starts yelling at him and gets even angrier at him and blames him for trying to ruin their friendship. She starts running. It’s in slow motion. She is crying tears of anger, as she dramatically runs away with make up smothering all over her face. Her fake eyelashes are falling off.

Guy is all alone now with rain falling down on him. He doesn’t try to shield himself from the rain anymore, but just soaks it all in. He watches girl as she runs. She’s so close…and yet….so far away. Guy is crying. These are real tears. Not just water that is put on his face in between filming. So sad.

Girl, in a state of rage and confusion, goes to see Alpha Male. Girl sees Alpha Male kissing another girl. Girl gets upset. She runs up to Alpha Male, and slaps him in the face. Alpha Male looks confused. Girl is crying now, and runs away. Rain falling. Girl goes to some secluded corner and starts to think. Maybe…just maybe…maybe I DO LOVE HIM (Friend)! SHE REALIZES SHE DOES! THERE’S HOPE! IT MIGHT WORK! THE GIRL STARTS RUNNING TO THE GUY WITH THIS REVELATION! THERE IS EXCITEMENT! IT’S GOING TO WORK! GIRL GETS TO GUY’S HOUSE!!

Girl tries to open the door. Guy hears her. IT JUST MIGHT WORK! BUT WAIT A SECOND. OH NO! Guy has a gun in his hand. He wants to commit suicide. AHHHH! (crowd gasps) Girl doesn’t know! She asks guy to “OPEN THE DOOR!” She is excited! She wants to tell him that she loves him! She should have yelled it at the door for him to hear! But for some reason, she wants to see him face to face first. Stupid movie irony. Guy yells at girl to “go away”. He doesn’t want to see her. Girl runs around to the other side of the house where there is a window so that she can tell him she loves him! Guy sees her. He looks at her. Points the gun at his head. And before girl can react, pulls the trigger.

GIRL STARTS SCREAMING AND CRYING (it’s not a good drama without a good measure of screaming and crying). SHE STARTS YELLING AT THE WINDOW, FRUITLESSLY. The blood from the gunshot wound is already drenching the ground. The girl falls to her knees, weeping. She cries till there are no more tears, MOANING as she does this. She lets out one more beastly roar from deep within her soul.

Okay. Maybe the situation won’ t be THAT dramatic. BUT HONESTLY. When there is unrequited love involved, there are some RETARDED things that happen. And although usually no one dies, hearts get broken, people get jaded, and feelings get turned upside down,some close people whom we olways cherish turns into some people we knew,To whom we used to share the evry part of our life,we just forcefully hide everything from thm even ourself....... It sucks. That’s why, if at all possible, it’s often better to avoid that sort of situation. It’s good to have friends of the opposite gender, but “close friend” is a difficult sell.....sooo nvr lose him\her....if at all this situation arrises....its ur responsibility to talk with ur opposite gender friend....n happily solve it...After ol...she is one n you are d one who cares for each other than any one else.....

So...Always remember....ITS THE WAY WE LIVE OUR LYF....:-) :-) -)

The Ladder Theory

Here’s an interesting concept in the dating world, The Ladder Theory. The ladder theory is ultimately quite simple: men have one ladder, women have two ladders. The ladder represents our willingness to “date” someone. For instance, the higher someone is on the ladder, the more likely we are to date them. The lower they are, unfortunately, the less likely we would ever consider pursuing a relationship with them..

If both male and female had one ladder, it would make things infinitely easier! However, girls have both a friend’s ladder and a “potential” ladder, whereas guys put all their cross gender relationships on the same ladder.

Basically, when a girl meets Guy X and Guy Y, she quickly evaluates both and then determines that Guy X is a guy she sees as someone she could “hook up” with while Guy Y is a guy she would never hook up with. As a result of these conclusions, each guy finds a spot on their respective ladders. Guy X is on the “potential ladder”, and Guy Y is on the “friends ladder”.

Here’s the kicker, the part that (for many guys) sucks a heck of a lot in this theory. The Girl, generally speaking, is willing to spend just as much time and show just as much affection toward the guys on her friend’s ladder as she does with the guys on her potential ladder. The reason this sucks is because the guy who’s on the friend’s ladder can’t tell whether the girl is interested or not, because she’s willing to invest and spend so much time with him!

To make matters worse, the girl usually fails to adequately notify Guy Y that he is only a “friend”. This is usually because girls really like the attention that Guy Y’s would give her. She is in denial that he “likes her”, and puts off confronting that reality as long as possible. Because of this lack of communication, the guy on the friend’s ladder begins to shamelessly pursue this girl only to find out to his horrible misery that…SYKE. He got dissed. And he fails. At life. Sucks to be the guy on the friend’s ladder.

Guys on the potential ladder can usually make a move successfully on the girl, unless he does something stupid that turns the girl off.

Now, on the other side, guys have only one ladder. These are the rules: when a guy meets a girl, she is either on the top of the ladder, or the bottom of the ladder.

Although this seems similar to the girl’s ladder, the key difference is that girls on the bottom of his ladder will not get “special attention”. As a matter of fact, guys really only spend a huge amount of time with girls on the top of their ladder. Furthermore, while guys can almost never make it from the “friends ladder” to the “potential ladder”, girls adjust positions on the one ladder a lot easier based on which girl gives the guy the most attention.

So in summary, girls, when they first meet a guy, place him on one of the two ladders: friend, or potential. Guys place a girl on the top or bottom. Girls can shift positions on the ladder, but guys are pretty much stuck on whatever ladder they start on. Well, let me state that you can switch ladders, but it takes a LOT of work, effort, energy, depression…most of the times, it’s not worth it. 

Good luck and happy hunting!!

Thnxx...for the short description i heard bout "THE LADDER THEORY".....which helped me to come up with this article.....N yes i can say tht i hav seen this very closely...:-)

Way we live our life

My blog picture........

Have a deeper mind in yourself !!!!!!

It is difficult knowing who is right for you and who is wasting

your time, who is trustworthy and who is unstable or even dangerous. We try to apply logic to the situation,

and that helpw. But most of us in the dating world find that we are

perfectly capable of making terrible mistakes and of caring quite

deeply about someone who has few redeeming features or who just

isn’t a good fit for us.

Friends can tell you what they believe about the situation and

what they find is true for them; a therapist can tell you guidelines

about relationships in general. Family members can tell you what

they hope you will find in life.

What you need, though, is someone who knows your secrets,

your emotional nature, your history of sabotage, your fear of intimacy,

and your fear of winding up alone. You need someone who

is absolutely and unreservedly on your side, who agrees that a

solid, loving relationship is worth the quest..

In the pursuit of finding and nourishing love, you should take

advantage of all the advocates, advisers, and supporters you can

find, but the one resource you absolutely must take advantage of is your deeper mind. This part of your psyche takes in volumes

of information, even subtle or subliminal clues; it recognizes

patterns sometimes in an instant; and it knows and understands

your personality without judgment and the ways your quirks and

your strengths impact your style of relating and your approach

to love.

The bottom line is that the deeper mind is one of your most

accurate and potent advisers, and it tends to speak to you through

your dreams and your intuition...

I miss you.....!!!

I Really Miss U..

The clouds slowly move

Unblocking my vision

Of the full, blue moon

Allowing me to see the stars

That I continue to wish upon

I hope tonight you are safe

I hope that you’re able to find the sleep

That you so desperately deserve

I often wonder, if at times

You forget someone over here

Misses you and keeps you in their prayers

I wish there was some way

To be held in your arms….

That I could look into your eyes

And let you worries disappear

There isn’t much I can do

Being way over here

I lose sleep over thoughts of you

The blankets that once surrounded me

In their warmth

Are now in a mess on the floor

I wish you were here to take their place

I look up towards the sky

And let the wind take my words

Through the miles.......

I MISS YOU...

Dedicated to someone i love a lot :-)
will always be there for u....

Way to live your life...!!!

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back...